Okay, hamburgers versus hot dogs. Let's get to the bottom of this.
So, I've had a lot of hot dog and hamburger experience in my life. Well, not more than the average person, but about as much as the average person. And this is why I'm choosing hot dogs from now on. If someone asks me on the street, or at any given moment, this is why I would lean towards hot dogs. And it really comes down to this: simplicity.
Hot dogs are hard to mess up, man. Hamburgers, on the other hand...
Now, I will say, if I had a choice, I would take a great hamburger over a great hot dog. However, I've found it hard to try a new spot and try a new hamburger and have a successful burger experience. Usually something is off. The burger is too thick, the meat is just not cooked right, or the burger is too thin, or it's too dry, this and that. You can't really fix that with toppings and sauce. Or the sauce is weird, or the bun gets all soggy. It's hard to freaking eat.
These are all fatal mistakes. You can't fix them. What are you going to do, take it back? Yeah, you probably should. You probably should take it back and ask for a freaking hot dog.
A hot dog will never let you down. What's better than that? You can always depend on it. I mean, you can eat the damn thing raw. I mean, you can take it camping, you can eat it raw, you can take it anywhere. It's reliable. It's efficient. And it's sufficient.
And then for me personally, I just like a hot dog with mustard, and I'm solid. I love it. But you can go crazy with it. You can do all the toppings you like, and it's still good. I can do it with just mustard, still good. I can do it plain, still good. You can't really say that for most burgers.
Most burgers are just a sloppy abomination, a mess, and you feel like garbage afterwards. A hot dog, you still feel something, but you just feel more pleasantly full than anything. Hamburger, you feel like you need to freaking go comatose for a few hours.
And I haven't always felt this way. Back growing up, I did really used to call myself a hamburger guy. I used to be one of those people that said, "Hamburgers are my favorite food." Now it's pizza. I mean, pizza is another thing. It's just incredible.
But hot dogs are... When I think of my favorite food, hot dog doesn't come up. But again, hot dog is just old reliable, man. You can't freaking get it wrong.
You can leave the dang thing out on the counter for days, come back to it, and it's just there waiting for you with open arms. There's not a lot of foods you can say about that. If you're ever thinking about apocalypse, hot dogs are up there with Twinkies as far as surviving. That may be a stretch. I know they are better kept refrigerated, but you'd be fine if you went like two weeks with a room temperature dog and you chowed down on it, you'd be fine. Please don't actually do this, keep your hotdogs refrigerated peeps
But yeah, this is why, if I ever have the opportunity between a hot dog and a hamburger, I'm choosing the dog, and I'm not looking back.